Forbes article, 12 Things Truly Confident People Do Differently, cites the results of a recent study at the University of Melbourne where confident people went on to earn higher wages and get promoted faster than everyone else. The article lists activities such as exercising regularly; seeking out small victories and celebrating other people.
Here are three critical keys from the article which will enable you to capitalize on confidence.
Learn to ‘Just say NO.’ People pleasers thrive on feeling needed by others, however they often ultimately end up with deep feelings of resentment and regret for having over-committed. Confident people understand that saying ‘no’ is healthy so they do not use phrases such as, “I don’t think I can,” or “I’m just not sure, but I’ll try.” Moreover, they confidently decline many requests because it enables them to honor the important commitments that they have already made. Everyone shares a common limit—24 hours in a day. For many, saying ‘no’ will push them outside of their comfort zones, however over time, it will become natural.
If the thought of saying no scares you, consider this—research conducted at the University of California in San Francisco revealed that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Stress and burnout rates continue to rise in the U.S. and their three major symptoms are emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and reduced performance. Saying ‘yes,’ to events, people, things that are not very important to you or your career is like shopping for stress. Learn to say ‘no’ and your confidence will grow.
Listen more than you speak. Dale Carnegie’s 15th Win People to Your Way of Thinking principle is, ‘Let the other person do a great deal of the talking,’ because it demonstrates that that you are listening to understand vs. to respond. Confident people listen more than they speak because they have nothing to prove. By actively listening to others, confident people know that they will learn and grow more than if they were constantly interrupting or monopolizing the conversation. The author of the article states, “Instead of seeing interactions as opportunities to prove themselves to others, they focus on the interaction itself, because they know this is a far more enjoyable and productive approach to people.”
Open up to opportunities. Dale Carnegie said, “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” The next time an opportunity presents itself, ask yourself, “What is stopping me?” instead of speculating everything that could possibly go wrong. Confident people do not allow fear to limit their opportunities in life. They stick their necks out knowing that if they never try, they ultimately lose the opportunity to fail or succeed. Dale Carnegie also said, “Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success.”
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